Please Sew Fish into My Ex Boyfriends Curtains!..
"I recently caught my boyfriend cheating and have since read a great revenge tactic of sewing kippers into the bottom of a pair of curtains. I am useless at sewing and wondered if you would accept this as a task due to your textiles skills. I still have a spare key and could take you to the house whilst he is out at work. I understand if you do not wish to accept this task! Thanks, from a very furious anonymous. P. S. I love your idea and might actually have some more normal tasks to send you too!"
I declined as did not fancy a criminal record!
Clean My Shoes
I recieved an email once from a Mr Chris Lowe simply saying...
"Clean my shoes for £100,000. I'm not even lying"
I responded... "If you would still like me to clean your shoes for the suggested fee, please let me know and I will raise you a PayPal invoice and provide you with an address to post the shoes to. Look forward to completing this task for you."
... Funnily enough I never got a response??!!
No Introduction or Explanation Needed!..
"I will pay you a lot of money to lick tomato puree off of someone's armpit."